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✓ 20 QUESTIONS ⏱ ~3 MINUTES

Family Estrangement Test for the Adult Child

For an increasing number of young adults, cutting all ties with one or both parents is seen as a necessary way to manage difficulties in the relationship. But it is rarely a satisfying one. How likely are you to deploy this strategy?

STRONGLY DISAGREE NEUTRAL STRONGLY AGREE

1. I believe that going no-contact with a parent is necessary to solve some problems.

DISAGREE AGREE

2. I feel ashamed that my parent and I aren’t speaking.

DISAGREE AGREE

3. If a parent disapproves of your lifestyle choice(s), it’s okay to cut them off.

DISAGREE AGREE

4. I often think of my parent even though we are not in contact.

DISAGREE AGREE

5. When my parent apologizes for how they hurt me growing up, I will consider talking to them again.

DISAGREE AGREE

6. I didn’t realize how deficient my childhood was until I became an adult.

DISAGREE AGREE

7. My parent is too emotionally rigid.

DISAGREE AGREE

8. Until my parent can admit what they did wrong, it’s best not to talk to them.

DISAGREE AGREE

9. In adulthood, having a relationship with a parent is optional.

DISAGREE AGREE

10. My parent has no clue that their child-raising approach was harmful.

DISAGREE AGREE

11. I do not see eye-to-eye with my parent on many things, but we have an okay relationship.

DISAGREE AGREE

12. If I mention anything bad about my childhood, my parent acts as if I’m accusing them of a crime.

DISAGREE AGREE

13. My partner helped me understand that cutting off contact with my family is best for me.

DISAGREE AGREE

14. My parent cannot accept that anything they did was traumatic to me.

DISAGREE AGREE

15. I have tried to set boundaries with my parent, but they always wind up violating them.

DISAGREE AGREE

16. I would consider reconnecting with my family but only under specific terms for contact.

DISAGREE AGREE

17. My parent keeps trying to contact me, and I wish they would stop.

DISAGREE AGREE

18. Because my relationship with my parent is stressful, contact is best avoided altogether.

DISAGREE AGREE

19. If my parent wants to see me again, they’re the one who will have to change.

DISAGREE AGREE

20. Feeling lonely is not enough of a reason to be in touch with my parent.

DISAGREE AGREE